The end of school is near! I will have to write either a persuasive essay, non-fiction essay, fantasy piece, or a personal narrative. This unit, I choose personal narrative because I really liked that unit, and I thought it was a lot of fun writing about things that have happened in my life. This topic is all about my gymnastic meet. Meets, games, or anything like that are scary, so hopefully you will get a lesson out of this piece.
I really like the good word choices and on the events your feeling were really strong! Great job on the detail too. I think that you should kind of go over on the punctuation because I spotted some mistakes on the Personal Narrative you wrote.
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ReplyDeleteI loved this piece. I really liked how it was really suspenseful. You are always wondering "what place did Julia get???" You added lots of details and had great vocabulary. I don't think I would change anything. I also really liked the title. You expressed your feelings really clearly and really well. I could just put myself in your shoes easily. Good job!
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I think that this piece was great! So much describing and lots of internal feelings! I can totally understand how scared you felt since I have done this too, but you put it in words in a way that I never would have been able to. You were always wondering what would happen and you just had to finish reading! The title kind of gives it away a bit but otherwise, I didn't find much wrong. Again, great job!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job Julia. I like how you said a lot of your thoughts and just in some way i made us want to keep on reading, and hooked on. Also you had some good analogies like when your friends were holding you and you said I was as snuggled up as a bug. I liked that analogy. Congratulations on getting first place! You did a good job Julia!
ReplyDeleteIt looks like gymnastics is hard and stressing. I like how you added detail and dialogue. I also like how you made gymnastics seem fun but also difficult.
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